


Before Sanctuary

by terrawrites



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-26 22:14:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21636238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/terrawrites/pseuds/terrawrites
Summary: Shepard is dealing with the aftermath of Thessia not very well when Garrus gets worried and shows up to see if there was any way he could help ease the burden she feels with the Reaper war. Set in between Priority: Thessia and Priority: Horizon.
Relationships: Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian, Shepard/Garrus Vakarian
Kudos: 18





	Before Sanctuary

**Author's Note:**

> Anonymous had requested a freebie of any of my oc's x any character of my choosing so I decided to use something I had already started with my Shepard and Garrus. This is my first time writing for Mass Effect so any constructive criticism will be welcomed!

The cabin was dim as she lay there on the sheets of her bed, the only light being that of the room’s aquarium casting its blue hue across every surface. Shepard wasn’t sure how long she had been like this, yet she also made no move to find out. Her eyes were fixed on the ceiling, unmoving and barely blinking. The ever-growing weight of her mission was pressing down on her with every mission drop, with every report of the Reaper advancement.

The faraway _ping_ of her omni-tool -Garrus again, she knew he was starting to become increasingly worried for her- the faint thumping of some part within the Normandy’s structure that shouldn’t be there. All of that was background noise to her own thoughts. Briefly she remembered Hackett’s order for Shepard and her crew to go on shore leave. Perhaps after this next mission on Horizon she would.

Shepard had never had any siblings growing up on whatever military station her parents were assigned on for their tour. Her parents had always said that making one child have to move around so often was hard enough, they didn’t need to subject another to that same kind of life as well. She always hated that excuse; it only made the loneliness she felt ever more prevalent every time she would have to leave whatever friends she had managed to make behind every few months.

That’s probably why she had felt an initial draw to Liara. Not born of a romantic interest, but more of a surge of sibling protectiveness (though Liara had more than quite a few years on her). That sibling-like bond the two of them had cultivated was why Shepard felt her heart mourn for the loss of Thessia, of knowing that there was nothing she could do or say to make it hurt any less for Liara short of what they were already set out to do. She had been down to Liara’s cabin earlier, but she knew that the words she had to offer were petty in terms of comfort at best. 

She wouldn’t show it in front of her crew- _couldn’t_ show it, but with each mission the despair she felt at knowing that with every small victory, or failed mission, the Reapers were slaughtering entire populations, billions of voices at a time silenced, only grew. The galaxy would be a lot emptier if they were to survive this war, and Shepard didn’t quite know how she was going to deal with it.

If her omni-tool sounded again, she didn’t hear it (or maybe, she just ignored it again) but the next thing that had registered in her mind was the sound of her cabin doors sliding open. She picked herself up off the bed, looking to the unmistakable Turian outline of her lover in the doorway. She said nothing as he stood there, as his eyes narrowed in that way they always did when he was checking her over for injuries after a mission.

“You weren’t responding to my messages.” He finally broke the silence and stepped into the cabin, letting the doors close and lock behind him.

She finally spoke. “Sorry, I was… distracted.”

“I was worried.” The I still am worried hung unspoken in the air, though it needn’t be said. She didn’t say anything, and Garrus sighed, sitting next to her on the bed. He brought one of his hands up to turn her face up to look him in the eye. “Talk to me Shepard. Tell me what’s wrong.”

She let out a humorless laugh. “What isn’t?”

Garrus sighed. “Bad question, I know. But would you mind still answering it? Is this about Thessia? Because that wasn’t your fault Shepard, you know it was that bastard Kai Leng and The Illusive Man’s.”

She sighed and shifted on the bed so she was more comfortable. “It’s that yes, but also this whole war in general. Just knowing that there’s so many more Thessia’s and Earth’s out there, and that we can’t help them all. And knowing that for some, even when we help, we can’t do anything to stop the Reapers.”

Garrus shifted on the bed, made a move like he was going to put a hand on her shoulder but decided against it at the last minute. “I’m not good at the whole comfort thing, maybe it’s because I tend to prefer to see the worst, but unfortunately we were never going to be able to save everyone. Hell, I don’t even think we’re going to be saving most of the population that existed before the war started. But dwelling on what can’t be saved isn’t going help the people we _can_ save.”

“I’m starting to think everyone on this ship is allergic to a good old fashioned ‘it’ll be okay, Shepard.’”

He snorted, but any hint of humor in his demeanor was gone in a moment. “I can’t make that promise Shepard, not even just to make you feel better. Because we both know it won’t be. Nothing will be ‘okay’ after this war is over. And it probably won’t be for a long time after. The most we can do is what we’re already doing: working towards obtaining the Catalyst and kicking as many Reaper asses as we can along the way.”

“You’re right, you do kind of suck at the comfort thing.”

This time he did allow himself to laugh. “You’re right, but I do know one thing: even though things are going to get worse before they’ll get better, they _will_ get better. And when you and I come out on the other side of this war you and I will retire somewhere nice and quiet. Just the two of us and whatever a ‘cat’ is that you keep mentioning.”

Shepard felt a small smile tug at the corner of her lips despite herself as she pulled him close so that their foreheads were resting against each other. “I think that sounds nice.”


End file.
